Greetings. This was supposed to be my second speed run, but I ended up being convinced to do a few individual level runs for We Love Katamari while working on this. I guess it's my second and a half run? Well, it's my second full game run, at any rate. ToeJam & Earl in Panic on Funkotron is the sequel to the generally more popular ToeJam & Earl. I'm a fan of the first game, but I enjoyed the sequel a lot more. As such, it's the one I'm more familiar with, so that's why I'm running it. I'm sure there are people out there better suited to running the first game than I would be. Anyway, TJ&E2 is one of my favorite games on the Genesis... it's loaded with secrets, packed with humorous dialogue (which you don't really get to see in the run), and it has a totally funkified soundtrack.

Let me get this out of the way from the start: TJ&E2 is a hard game to speed run. While it's certainly more suited for running than the original, it's simply not a game that was designed with fast playing in mind. The focus of the game is exploration, having to search massive levels for the Earthlings and occasionally finding secrets along the way. The number of secrets in this game is astounding. I'm not just talking about the hundreds of presents hidden in trees, bushes, behind walls, and in secret rooms. I'm talking about thousands of invisible "Funktivate Spots" that can only be seen by using Funk Scans. As far as I know, there is no complete database listing every single secret in the game. Such a record would be an enormous undertaking to create. As it is, I am probably now the best candidate in the world to create such a list, as I literally spent hours shaking every plant and Funk Scanning every area in the game >_< It should come as no surprise that I spent far more time planning out my routes and memorizing the locations of Earthlings and presents than actually playing. If nothing else, I am extremely proud of the level routes you'll see here, and I am almost 100% confident they are the fastest paths (without death abuse). Some brief (yeah right) comments before I get into the actual run:

Characters: You can play as ToeJam or Earl. In the other games in the series, there are notable differences between the characters' abilities, but not so in Panic on Funkotron. I did extensive research comparing their speed, jumping height, health, jar throwing, etc. and found no differences. The only difference I've noticed is that Earl can push rocks faster. It seems strange that Earl would have an advantage over TJ, and not vice versa... unless they count the fact that TJ is shorter as an advantage. Smaller target? Anyway, this worked out fine for me, because Earl is my personal favorite.

Presents: The majority of presents in the game either contain Funk, Coins, or points. Points are completely useless, of course. There are a few spots where I need Coins for parking meters, or Funk for doing Funk Moves through walls, but not enough to justify actively seeking out presents containing them. As a side note, I never have to use Funk Scans either, since I already know exactly which trees to shake, where to jump for Funktivate Spots, and the locations of invisible doors. The only presents worth going after are the rarer ones that contain items, descriptions of which follow.

Super Jars (SJs): SJs allow you to capture any Earthling in one hit. Obviously, this is invaluable as it eliminates the Earthlings' chances to run away, fight back, or generally be random. I go after every SJ present that I can, as the time saved almost always makes up for the time spent getting them. Only the most out of the way SJ presents are ignored. Each present grants you 1-4 SJs randomly. Ideally, every present should give me 3 or 4 for the best results, but this is simply an unrealistic goal for a run like this. I didn't waste time resetting due to bad luck with SJ presents, though it's something you would want to consider if you attempted to break my record.

FunkVacs: The second most important item in my run. Extremely useful since it jars ALL Earthlings on screen, but somewhat of a double-edged sword where speed running is concerned since it makes you immobile for over 10 seconds. Add to this the fact that it's somewhat rare (at least in my run where I don't waste time on things like Hyper Funk Zones) and it results in the need to conserve these for instances in which they will be most efficient (catching many Earthlings at once that would take longer to catch individually or to catch groups of Earthings that are too risky to fight head on).

Panic Buttons: Panic Buttons are extremely poor tools for catching Earthlings, but they have three bonus benefits that make them useful to my run nonetheless. First and most obviously: The speed boost. Running speed is dramatically increased which allows me to cross long distances much faster (when I don't have to worry about Earthlings). Additionally, the speed boost can be extended beyond the amount of time the Panic Button is in effect by jumping right before it ends; your momentum will continue until you land. Second: Invincibility. This factor mainly applies to Underfunk areas where you can run through the fire unscathed. Third: Allows instant maximum height on bouncy fungus. This factor only comes into play a couple times during my run, but it's still a good shortcut.

Swimming: You have a limited amount of time before you run out of breath in underwater areas. Purple fish are usually scattered about to replenish your air supply, but using them takes time. Most of the game's underwater areas can easily be completed without using the air fish, so I avoid them where possible.

Hyper Funk Zones (HFZs), Jam Sessions, Fungus Olympics: Sucks, and will not be seen in this run. Basically, they all take away too much time from my run to be worth it. Jam Sessions only reward you with Funk, Fungus Olympics... I think the best thing you get is SJs. Now HFZs have a lot of good items to reward you with, and one especially intriguing bonus: if you're able to complete all three levels of the HFZ, you get unlimited SJs. This is *extremely* difficult to achieve, even in a segmented run. And I don't think the payoff would be worth the amount of time it takes. It's possible I'm wrong about this, but I figured it would be a lot simpler to just skip all of these optional features and be consistent.

Death abuse: I am fairly certain this game can be completed slightly faster with death abuse. Death in this game sends you back to the beginning of the level, or the most recent waypoint flag you passed. There are a number of levels where you must enter a remote area to catch a few Earthlings, and then return to where you came from. In this case, it would very likely be faster to shake a booby-trapped tree/bush to kill yourself and warp back to the last waypoint. The best example of a place where this would work is Level 15. I decided that to simplify my route planning (which is already difficult enough), and to make for a more impressive run, I would play the game with no deaths. But if anyone is considering their own run, it's something to think about.

Earthlings: The most random factor of the run. Earthlings can potentially add a lot of time to each segment depending on how cooperative they are. 95% of my failed attempts were due to Earthlings not doing what I want them to do. Some of their favorite hobbies include running away, rehiding themselves, breaking free of jars before I pick them up, getting jarred inside walls, magically teleporting, going trigger happy, and, of course, killing me. I'll give more comments on some of the specific Earthlings later.

Other miscellanous time-savers: Walking is generally the fastest way to travel, except when going uphill. Jumping slows you down a small amount, so it's good to avoid doing it too much... again, except when going uphill (jumping is the best climbing method). There is a short animation for picking up jars which can be avoided by jumping on/into the jar. I try to do this as much as possible, but sometimes it's difficult depending on where the jar lands and if there are other Earthlings I have to worry about at the same time.

My level comments, as usual, are extremely lengthy. Let's get on with it.

• Level 1 - This early in the run, I wasn't really sure how much Funk I would need later, and I certainly didn't want to have to go out of my way for it... so I grabbed this present. It's probably not even a second lost, but it's something I would skip if I were to attempt to improve this. Other than that, I'm very happy with how this level went.

• Level 2 - This level went very well except for an ugly, ugly fight with a Fat Lady and her two Poodles. This group consistently gave me trouble because if you try to throw the SJ from a distance, it tends to hit the Fat Lady first (sending the Poodles into frenzy mode). So I started resorting to the strat you see here - mass aerial bombardment. But ugh... to have all of the SJs miss? What are the odds? It's not a *huge* time loss, but this is one of the mistakes I most wish I had not left in the final run, especially since it's in the shortest segment. I show off a good example of jumping at the end of a Panic Button to extend its distance in the Underfunk area.

• Level 3 - I use a FunkVac on the Boys and Girls in the pit... if I'd had SJs, I wouldn't have. As is, I think I saved a bit of time since I could have potentially had to chase them around quite a bit. Later you see me talk to someone in a house. There's many events in the game that can only be triggered by reading the related dialogue first (for instance, Lamont's stuff). So I talk just long enough for the SJs to appear in the bush. I make a visit to Trixie to get unlimited SJs for the level... it's a bit out of the way, but I think the payoff makes it worth it. The jump down from the platform with the three buttons and then to the platform to the right of that one (and back) took an absurd amount of practice to be able to hit consistently without falling in the water.

• Level 4 - Snow levels can be a bit annoying because you automatically start sliding when you walk in the direction of sloping terrain. Sometimes this is good since it's faster than walking, but many times it will cause you to slide past (or into) Earthlings. I stop myself at the bottom of one slope to keep from being launched into a HFZ (I also have to wait around for it to close, or else it will appear again). There's a spot where you'll see me jump up to Funktivate a present... a present with points in it. Occasionally this present had given me a Panic Button, so I was convinced that the contents must be random. I decided it wasn't too much of a time loss to grab it (even if it ended up being points). It wasn't until I reviewed the segment after recording that I realized the reason it had changed to points was because I already had a full supply of Panic Buttons >_< Other than that, the level went smoothly.

• Level 5 - The first door is the fastest by far... too bad only one of those presents is useful. This whole segment is kind of dry in the presents department, and the few times I get SJs, I had bad luck (only getting one or two). I had a slow Fairy fight... although, unless I have SJs, this is almost always the case. I swear that Fairies are in the game for the sole purpose of frustrating speed runners. They don't even do damage, all they do is stun you and dodge jars extremely well. Flying Ducks can take a while to fight without SJs, so I lead this one over to the platform with the Construction Worker and Tourist (a very painful combination) and Vac them. In the bubble riding area, the ledge with the Fat Lady and Poodles would usually give me trouble, but it went perfectly in this attempt!

• Level 6 - There's a few more useful presents in the first area, but bouncing around on the fungus is extremely slow, so I don't bother hunting them down. I like how I waited around to make sure I wouldn't miss that Tourist with my SJ and then still missed. Another predictably slow Fairy fight. I fight the Naked Man from a distance to be safe. They're difficult to fight on small ledges like the one he's on, and even more difficult when most of your jars home in on the Boogie Man. In the next area, I sort of screwed up at the part where I used the Panic Button. I was trying to lure all of the Boogie Men to the left side, but it didn't really work, plus I fell off the platform. Other than that, and somewhat bad luck with SJ presents, this segment was pretty clean... would you believe that it was my first recorded attempt? I guess practice really does make perfect!

• Level 7 - Or maybe not. My luck with recording was completely lost on this segment... I wasted over two hours of tape on failed attempts. The difficulty really starts to pick up quite a bit at this point; many of my failed attempts were due to deaths. On the positive side, this level is packed with presents to make up for their scarcity in the last segment. At the start I use a Panic Button since I'll be getting more soon. I usually don't get all three Poodles... nice bonus that I did this time. The Cow Ghost on this level is all but impossible to jar without getting possessed. I stopped resetting due to it since avoiding the Ghost usually ends up wasting as much time as getting hit anyway. I enter a secret room for a SJ present... it's an 18 second detour that really isn't worth the time unless I get at least three SJs. Unfortunately, I only got one this time, so it was a bit of a waste. Also, notice that I get about five SJ presents in a row with only one SJ in them. Yeesh, that's gotta be a record. Aside from the lousy SJ luck, this level went well.

• Level 8 - The level goes almost perfectly. The only big mistakes worth mentioning were both in the last area. First I missed jumping onto the bubble after getting the Construction Worker... about a 7 second loss. Then I got possessed by the Cow Ghost... maybe only a 6 second loss. I really like how he didn't appear until he was right on top of me. In the end, this segment ended up looking decent. Just took forever to get it that way >_<

• Level 9 - I don't think there's a more appropriately named area in the game than Pesky Place. "Pesky" is definitely the adjective I would use to describe it. I have to fight multiple Flying Ducks without SJs as well as a ton of frenzy mode Poodles (every hit takes off a fourth of your life!). This definitely didn't go as smoothly as it could have, but frankly I was willing to accept almost any recording where I made it through alive. In the Catacombs, there's another route I considered that involved falling in the pit from the start (instead of jumping over it) and talking to Flarney to activate a button at the bottom of the pit. That route could possibly be faster, but I always had better luck with the route you see me use here. Again, it could have gone better, but this area is almost as tough as the one preceeding it.

• Level 10 - Very short and easy level compared to Level 9. I get owned by another Cow Ghost here, but no other major mistakes. You'll notice me using a slightly different strategy against the Naked Man on this level than on previous ones... I think it was during this segment that I discovered that your horizontal throws are faster in midair than while standing. This makes it much easier to "stunlock" Naked Men, and helps in some other fights as well. Unfortunately, it wouldn't work on the Naked Man in the previous level because of the low ceiling. The part where I jump down into the hole and land on the bubble over the water is kind of tough. I have to make some blind jumps to the right... falling in the water means instant reset because the only way to get back on land is to go through a painfully long underwater maze.

• Level 11 - One of the first things I realized when determining my route for this level was that I'm rather short on Coins at this point, and there's a few good parking meters in the next few levels... so I added a few Coin presents to my route. Many of these ended up being unnecessary, but I had no way of knowing that at the time. The first Tourist I go up against is kind of annoying. The terrain of that little area you fight him in makes it difficult to jump above him for aerial bombardment, which is why I resort to slow, straight attacks. I get hit by yet another Cow Ghost here (this is starting to become a trend, apparently), although it's *very* difficult to jar both Ghosts without getting hit by one because of how little space there is. When I jump to the left from the cliff above all the doors, I land on a slightly lower platform than I intended... no big loss, since I still have to wait for the Fairy to play hit and run. You don't want to know how many times I completely missed the platforms >_< I have to be cautious when fighting the Fairy to make sure it gets jarred over the platform. I'm extremely proud of my Panic Button shortcut I figured out here; it saves a lot of time. It also serves as a fine example of just how bad Panic Buttons are at catching Earthlings.

• Level 12 - In case you're wondering why I hesitate before using the FunkVac at the part where the Funk goes away, it's because you can't use any powers while it's out. I have a small brain fart and almost pass a platform I need to jump to... a couple seconds lost. There's a lot of excellent places to use FunkVacs here, but I was worried that I needed to conserve some for the next level. I could have used one at the part with the two Poodles under the ledge with the Fat Lady, Tourist, and more Poodles on top, but I decided I either had to skip using one there or skip the last one I use against three Earthlings (Cow Ghost, Naked Man, Boogie Man). While using it in the Poodle area would save more time, the last group of three Earthlings were the greater threat. I end up taking those Poodles on pretty slowly to be safe. As it turns out, I only need one for the next level, so it probably would have been better if I used one at the Poodle spot after all.

• Level 13 - Cool-looking level. I was a little worried about planning the route because it's so large, but it turned out to be relatively simple (especially compared to the next one). No major mistakes to speak of... it was a pretty smooth run. This was the only time out of all of my attempts that I took no damage from the Poodles that fall down from the ceiling. I usually get owned and then have to take a few seconds to shake food down from the nearby bush... so that was a plus. This segment also has my absolute favorite shortcut. I have to run back and forth for a few seconds so that the Panic Button ends before I land on the platform. As impressive as it looks, it actually isn't that hard to land. I think I only had to reset once for missing. The underwater section gives me plenty of time to make it through without having to stop for air ;)

• Level 14 - This may have been the most difficult level for me to plan my route on. The map is huge and doesn't seem to have any paths that avoid backtracking. The route I finally settled on may not be perfect, but I like it because it allows me to burn two Panic Buttons at the end. First things first, there's a Trixie room on this level that grants you unlimited FunkVacs, and an underwater tunnel right at the beginning of the level that leads almost straight to it. This makes every Earthling battle for the level completely trivial, although I still try to take out lone Earthlings without Vacs, especially if I have SJs, since the Vacs can end up taking more time than not using them would sometimes. Something interesting you may notice here is that not only will Fairies not drop their powder on you while you're riding a bubble, but you're also invincible (at least against Tourists). I enter a secret room for a SJ present again, although this one takes a bit less time than the one on Level 7. Not much else to add... this segment was almost flawless; probably the cleanest segment of my run.

• Level 15 - This level was a lot easier than I remember it being, but it probably helped that I had SJs or FunkVacs for every fight. I really liked how I had exactly enough SJs to clear out the first area. I wish I could say I planned it that way, but it was pure coincidence. Second area has some annoying bubble riding, but I keep my cool and make it through just fine. You'll notice that the present I pick up after the Panic Button present gives me points. This is actually a SJ present, but it gave me points because I was maxed out on SJs! I didn't even know there was a limit before that point (since my typical poor luck with SJ presents prevented me from ever reaching it)... I think the limit is either 9 or 10. Even if I had known that I had maxed SJs, I still would have jumped up there since I need to get the Flying Duck's attention before using the FunkVac. Third area... no comments. In the fourth area, to make the fire stop from the right side you have to put an absurd amount of money in the parking meters (something like 10 coins). It wastes a ton of time, so it's much better to just use a Panic Button, even though you don't quite get the full use out of it. I finish all four areas without even giving the viewer a chance to see why the level is called The Bottomless Pit :)

• Level 16 - It's the climax! Actually, this level isn't nearly as tough as some of the ones before it. I had a somewhat slow fight against a Flying Duck, and then got owned by another Duck after missing the platform I meant to jump to, bringing my health down into the danger zone. Didn't really cost me much time, just my nerves. Somehow I made it back up to my sweet spot, even after narrowly missing a Cow Ghost and dodging the Duck and Tourist. The next area is very straightforward, just a little slow because I don't have the luxury of SJs. I have to stop for health a few times to be safe, and I have a pretty lousy fight against a Fairy and Naked Man - just about the worst Earthling combination you can face. But after them, the rest of the level is a snap. The infamous underwater maze cannot be completed in one breath unfortunately, but I hope that me speeding through it is still somewhat impressive to those who have played the game before.

• Level 17 - The only Earthlings in this level are five Fairies, and the game gives you plenty of SJs to take them down. I only get hit by the laughing powder once. In the next four areas, I burn off the rest of my Panic Buttons and skip talking to my friends for the last time =P

And that's that. Enjoy the ridiculously short ending where I give the Funkapotomus a big "screw you" before busting a proverbial move or two. Quite a nice change compared to Dynamite Headdy's 20 minute ending, isn't it? My completion time is certainly improvable by a few minutes, but is entirely dependant on having better luck against Earthlings and with SJ presents. The Earthlings in particular present an extremely high degree of randomness. No matter how skilled the player is, there's not a lot you can do if the AI simply refuses to cooperate. Patience is what's needed more than anything. Getting perfect fights in every level is nigh impossible, even in a segmented run, so all you can do is keep retrying over and over until you get lucky. Other time-savers: the secret room on Level 7 can be skipped, and it might be faster to skip Trixie on Level 3. I would also try to look for more places to use Panic Buttons, since I spend far too much of the game with a full supply. Either that, or don't waste time picking up as many. Lastly, don't bother going out of the way for ANY Funk or Coins... you won't need them. To anyone that may be considering breaking my record, I wish you much luck. Maybe it will be easier since I've already done the hard part of figuring out the best routes =P I will very likely attempt to break this record myself in the future. Equipped with a better understanding of the game's physics and predicting Earthling behavior, I know I can make a much cleaner (and faster) run. A 100% or SS run aren't out of the question either, but in all cases, I'd like to run some other games before I return to this one again.

Thanks to Rad Radix for hosting my gig, Gnarly Nate for bringing the funk, Mike "the Man" Uyama for hooking me up, and all the phat forum homeboys and girls for keeping the rhythm, especially DJ InsipidMuckyWater. Secret Bonus Point to Iwillruleyou for his happenin' FAQ (found on gamefaqs.com).

As always, the moral of the story is: You should never let Earl drive.

May the Funk be with you.